Thursday, 4 August 2011

Preview of Next Season

This is the first guest post on the site by season ticket holder Jack Amos. He is beginning work on a new blog so i'll tell you when to check it out. Hope you enjoy!


Fabregas finally ends the saga over his transfer and completes his 40 million pound transfer to Barcelona. The Spaniard is replaced by Juan Manuel Mata, but Wenger says the main replacement for the departing captain can be Craig Eastmond who lands a 50k/week contract on his admission to the first team.

Arsenal begin the season by demolishing Newcastle and then scrape through their European qualifier against Rubin Kazan via a goal through Van Persie. After beating United and Liverpool in thrilling encounters, Arsenal end the month joint top with Manchester City.

On transfer deadline day Harry Redknapp finally secures his "star striker" Bobby Zamora and replaces Luca Modric - now at Chelsea - with Joey Barton form Newcastle. Both were bargain deals. Arsenal finally sign a defender in the eleventh hour as Sol Campbell begins his shock 3rd stint at the club. Overall 800 million pounds was spent by English clubs in the transfer window, but Arsenal finished with a £20 million profit.


Van Persie picks up small injury for Holland in a friendly. Wenger says he will be fit in one week. Also injured on international duty are Theo Walcott and Abou Diaby.

Without Van Persie, Arsenal fail to score against bottom side Swansea and drop their first two points of the season. In the next game against Blackburn, Samba and co bully Arsenal, who throw away a 2 goal lead in the last 10 minutes. New season, same problems.

However the new captain, Jack Wilshere, rallies the team and they win the remaining games in September, and are 2nd in the league. With the side playing great football and gelling together as a  close-knit squad, many "expert" pundits admit they were wrong about tipping Arsenal to drop out of the top 4. 

After a bright start, Chelsea are struggling in the league and Champions League and Fernando Torres is still yet to score.

Meanwhile in Barcelona, Fabregas starts his first game for Barcelona. His replacement Eastmond is yet to make an appearance and is sent on loan to Dagenham and Redbridge. It emerges he chose the league side due to it's close proximity to Nandos.


In the North London derby, Arsenal's new first choice left back Armand Traore repeats his trick of bringing a knuckleduster to the derby, but uses it to punch Gareth Bale. In the ensuing 27 man brawl, Joe Jordan gets involved and is hailed as a hero by the press. Arsenal win the derby 3-2 after a hat trick via Ryo Miyaichi, but end up with massive suspensions for their players involved in the brawl.

Van Persie is yet to return from injury, and Wenger releases a statement saying he will be fit by January. Despite drawing the next five games in October, and lying in 4th place, the boss hails the great mental strength of his young squad.


Arsenal's recurring problems in November do not happen for once. The squad, led by the magnificent form of Wilshere Ramsey Gervinho Mata and the brilliant defensive partnership of Bartley and Vermaelen, win every game in the month and even look solid in defence.

After qualifying for the knockout rounds of the Champions League, Wenger fields the youngest ever team in European history with an outfield average age of 21. In goal Manuel Almunia makes his first appearance of the season and makes a howler. Surprisingly the young team still win 3-1 with goals form Miyaichi and Afobe(2).

With Chelsea failing to mount a successful title challenge, Andre Villas Boas is sacked, and Chelsea make an attempt to lure Ancelotti out of retirement. Carlo refuses their offer and the Blues try to get Hiddink to manage them until the end of the season, but he refuses them too. Amazingly Abramovic appoints himself as manager. Torres still hasn't scored.


Arsenal continue their amazing form and new summer signing Sol Campbell, who has only made 3 appearances, decides to call time on his career. In his testimonial match, three Arsenal players pick up knocks and have to miss the key matches against Everton at the Emirates and away at league leaders Man City.

However, Arsenal come through the games unscathed, and move to top of the league. A position many thought incapable of the north London club. Alan Hansen, on the boxing day edition of Match of the Day still stands by his pre-season prediction for Liverpool to win the title. The merseyside club lie in 8th place at the half way stage.


With Arsenal top, Wenger says he will only make 'one or two signings, at most' in the transfer window. The main target appears to be Gary Cahill, who only has 6 months left on his contract and with Bolton in administration, they need to sell him.

However, after keeping 3 clean sheets in a row, Arsene denies he was ever in the market for any players. On deadline day, Arsenal sell Samir Nasri to Inter Milan, rumors appear across the back pages that Arsenal have agreed to sign Hazard as a replacement, but the French winger will only arrive next season. Doubts begin to emerge on whether Arsenal will be strong enough to compete for the title - despite ending January in second place.

City have a quiet transfer market, but it later it appears they tried to purchase singer Justin Bieber for £200 million. The deal collapsed when he failed to pass his medical. They also made an enquiry over Lionel Messi's availability, but were instantly rebuffed by Barcelona who are still unbeaten in all competitions.


As Arsenal undergo a mini mid season slump, with back to back defeats against Blackburn and Sunderland - both defeats coming from winning positions yet again - the fans begin to get agitated. Their anger is increased as prices for prawn sandwiches are increased at the stadium. Mass protests are planned at Finsbury park and on the 18th of February thousands of middle class families pack picnics form M&S and enjoy them in Finsbury Park before the club's F.A cup tie.

The Protest was labelled a massive success, but Silent Stan still refuses to reply to fans. Thankfully the fans are calmed down as Arsenal demolish Tottenham 5-1 in the local derby, a result which sends their rivals into the relegation places.

Tottenham have endured a very disappointing season with Gareth Bale out injured since the infamous derby, Modric's replacement Joey Barton jailed in mid January. In more bad news, 'arry Redknapp is called to appear in court at the end of the season. As Tottenham visit Spain in the Europa League, 'arry fails to return to Great Britain, the search begins.


After a string of successful performances for Arsenal following Sagna's injury, Jenkinson is called up for both England and Finland squads, resulting in a tug of war between both countries. After the youngster chooses Finland, Adrian Durham of Talksport starts a petition to ban Jenkinson from living in England. No-body listens to the idiot though.

Van Persie finally returns to the Arsenal starting eleven in the Champions league tie against Inter Milan and shows Arsenal what they have been missing by scoring 2 amazing goals. Nasri meanwhile doesn't feature as he is sulking on the bench trying to force a move to Manchester United.

The gunners are through to the F.A Cup semi final against Tony Pulis' Stoke and are third in the league, capable of finishing first if they win their remaining games. Meanwhile at fourth place Chelsea, Abramovic declares himself delighted with the new manager (himself) and states his desire to manage Barcelona. He even seems to get the best out of Torres, who scores his first goal of the season.


Before their Cup semi final, Stoke boss Tony Pulis takes his side to a boxing centre - for relaxing and fitness training apparently.

In the match at Wembley, Stoke take the lead from a long throw bundled in by Robert Huth. Wenger performs a masterstroke at half time by bringing on Ryo Miyaichi. The young Japanese player goes on to score a hattrick as Arsenal get through to the final to face Manchester united.

The win is a rarity for Arsenal though, who are knocked out by AC Milan in the quarter final of the Champions league on away goals and lose  the vital match against Man City at the Emirates. As the title challenge fizzles out (yet again) Arsenal let leads slip in three matches against Wolves, Wigan and Stoke and drop 6 more points. They only stay ahead of 4th place Chelsea by drawing with the in a 3-3 classic.

At struggling Liverpool, John Henry fires failing boss Dalglish and takes him to court. It later emerges that he was taking a large amount of money from transfers - which explains Carroll, Henderson, Downing etc.


With nothing to lose or gain, Arsenal win their final 2 games against Norwich and West Brom easily. Van Persie, who has been in excellent form since finally returning from injury scores 5 goals over the two matches and signs a new contract at the club. However, a knock in training rules the Dutchman out of the F.A cup final.

As Manchester City win the league, Roberto Mancini is sacked for his performance in Europe and Diego Maradona is appointed at Eastlands.

On cup final day, Arsenal face Manchester United who finished one place and 2 points ahead of the gunners in the League. Ferguson starts his usual mind games by saying Wenger couldn't sign a defender to save his life. The comment was released on his new twitter page, which all managers are required to have.

In the match, Arsenal outclass United and win 2-1 with goals form Wilshere and Ramsey cancelling out a magnificent strike from Rooney. The win finally ending their trophy drought and Arsenal parade the trophy around Islington. Manuel Almunia drops the trophy off the bus, although Sky Sources suggest that Fabianski was the one to blame.

In the Champions League final, Barcelona play Real Madrid in the greatest match the world has ever seen. Despite Cristiano Ronaldo's best attempts (he scored a hat-trick) Real lose 4-3 with Cesc Fabregas scoring the deciding goal. After the match, Mourinho says that he is still the "special one" and even Jesus couldn't beat this Barcelona side. Later in the summer he is sacked and replaced by Sam Allardyce, who promises the double and signs Kevin Davies for 30 million pounds.

1 comment:

  1. this is real funny but not realistic enough in some places like ryo getting 2 hattricks and the cup drop